EXT DESERT ROADSIDE - DAY.
A group of Mexican laborers wait by the side of the road. A few of them get into the back of a pickup truck and are sped off. A flying saucer swoops down the street, it lands in front of the workers.
DR. VENTURE pops out of the hatch on top of the ship.
RUSTY
Eh. Alright, I got fifty smackers for each and every man willing to work an honest day at my compound. Who's up for it?
Each Mexican man raises his hands.
RUSTY
I'm taking rocket engineers, radar tracking operations managers...
The workers lower their hands as they hear the list of job openings.
RUSTY
((continuing))
...super fusion fuel rod insertion specialists... with ventrillium handling experience. And I'm gonna need one or two guys who can do phase plasma spectrum analysis. Any takers? Anybody? No?
Rusty lets out an extended sigh. The saucer takes off and speeds by a billboard. It's an iPod ad featuring the silhouette of JONAS JR.
EXT VENTURE COMPOUND - DAY
BROCK SAMSON is using a rake to detach a charred body from the fence. HANK VENTURE is next to him.
BROCK
((sighing))
They never learn.
Hank
And they get lamer every week.
BROCK
It looks like Manasaurus. I better go check if he's got any henchmen stuck further down.
DEAN VENTURE is scouting the area with a pair of binoculars.
INT VENTURE COMPOUND – DAY
RUSTY
((on the phone))
Alright, Alright, enough about how great you're doing. It was a rhetorical question. What I'm really calling about is just to give you a heads up. I've got a meeting this morning with a certain four-star general to discuss a certain hot business deal with a certain me.
INT SPIDER-SKULL ISLAND BASE.
Jonas
You got a meeting with Manhowers, huh? That's great Rust.
Jonas
Tell him I say hi. those choppers he ordered will be ready in...
Rusty
So anyway, next time you do a photo shoot for one of the science rags, get ready to move over 'cause I'm lifting my self-imposed media blackout.
JONAS
You saw the Super Scientific American piece, did you? That must've been one of the gals in my PR department. Oop, hang on a second...
RUSTY
You have a Puerto Rican department?
JONAS
New phone! New phones. Hello?
A split screen shows that Jonas is now talking to a grown up HADJI, the adopted brother of JONNY QUEST.
Jonas
Hadji! Any good news, brother?
RUSTY
((talking over Hadji and Jonas))
Hello?! Hello I can hear you.
HADJI
...this is not so. We have had some problems on the line.
JONAS
Hadj, are you snowballing me? You promised you'd put on extra shifts to make the street date.
In the background Jonny is walking around the office in his underwear screaming erratically.
HADJI
A thousand pardons Dr. Venture. We are trying to work for you. But I, I have Jonny staying with me and he is in a bad, bad way.
EXT Venture Compound - DAY
Dean is watching the gate through the binoculars. A military HumVee aproaches.
BROCK
He's early. Boys, inside!
((pushing Hank and Dean while talkin on his wrist communicator))
Doc! Doc! Code Green. The eagle has landed.
INT HADJI's OFFICE.
The phone conversation with Jonas continues.
HADJI
What am I to do? Why wife will leave me if I bring him to the house again. But he is like my brother to me.
INT SPIDER-SKULL ISLAND BASE
JONAS
Brother! Hold on, Hadj, I forgot I got Rusty on the other line.
HADJI
Rusty? Has he asked you for money yet?
Hadji and Jonas laugh.
JONAS
Hold on. Rust, you still there?
INT VENT COMPOUND - LAB
The phone at the compound is dangling from it's cord. The chair Rusty was sitting in still spins from his abrupt departure.
HADJI (VO)
Crap, did he hear us?
INT VENT COMPOUND - FOYER
Rusty is looking out the windows of the compound and watching the HumVee.
RUSTY
Places everyone. Places!
RUSTY
((running through the compound))
Turn on the juice!
A banner unfurls above the entrance. It reads: “Venture Industries: The Future is Wow” with a model of an atom replacing the “O” in “Wow”.
GENERAL MANHOWERS approaches a reception desk. It's being manned by TRIANA ORPHEUS.
MANHOWERS
Dr. Venture please. I got an appointment.
MANHOWER
General H. I. Manhowers. United States Armed ....
Rusty is waiting around the corner, ready to give someone his cue
Dr. Venture walks out with DR. BYRON ORPHEUS at his side. Orpheus is in a white suit with a purple shirt, sunglasses and his hair in a pony tail. He's smoking a cigarette.
RUSTY
Yes. Yes, of course. Ten million dollars will be fine. And anytime the European Space Agency needs more you know where to find us.
ORPHEUS
((in an italian accent))
Gracie, Signore Ventura! Ciao!
Rusty pretends to just now notice Manhowers.
RUSTY
Oh, hello. You must be General Manhowers?
EXT VENTURE COMPOUND
Dr. Orpheus walks down the steps of the compound laughing to himself.
He runs off.
INT VENTURE COMPOUND - FOYER
RUSTY
Well, should I give you the grand tour?
Through the windows behind Rusty, Orpheus can be seen running by very quickly
Rusty
But wait! Why walk when you can ride in style?
A set of moving walkways line the floor of the hallway.
RUSTY
It's the moving walkway.
Manhowers grunts and gets on the walkway.
TRIANA
(answering the phone)
Venture Industries? Oh, Dean, they can't hear you. You don't have to pretend that hard.
A plant is swept up by the moving walkway.
INT VENTURE COMPOUND - HALLWAY.
Dean is on the phone with his finger under his nose like a mustache.
DEAN
((in a deep voice))
They can't? Oh, okay.
((gasps))
I'm on.
Dean approaches his father and the General on his hover boots.
RUSTY
Hello, son. So is that where my top secret experimental hover boots have gotten to?
DEAN
Sorry pop. I couldn't resist. They've got a thousand and one uses around the home, at work or in combat situations.
RUSTY
((laughing))
Boys will be boys.
Orpheus walks by in a repairman uniform.
ORPHEUS
Morning, Dr. Venture.
INT Compound Bathroom.
Hank is practicing lines while wearing a large Gatling gun on his chest.
HANK
((in different inflections))
Hey Pop. Hey Pop. Hey Pop.
Orpheus walks in the door, catching his breath.
Brock is sitting at a table nearby putting on make-up.
BROCK
Uh, Future Man. Costume's on the rack, wigs over here, make-up's in the bottom tray.
BROCK
((reading from a script in monotone))
"Dr. Venture, come quickly. The future is in peril."
Triana opens the shower curtain. She too is reading from a script.
TRIANA
"She swoons. Dr. Venture catches her and they kiss passionately."
Dean is nearby in his underwear, listening uncomfortably.
TRIANA
((groans))
Who writes this crap?
INT VENTURE COMPOUND - HANGAR BAY
Rusty and Manhowers enter the Hangar bay through the walkway. Manhowers is drinking a purple fruit drink.
MANHOWERS
Jeepers Creepers. Whaddya got there?
The General is looking at the top of a black plane with the Venture logo on it.
RUSTY
Oh you like that? Just a little stealth bomber I've been doodling around with in my spare time.
Rusty giggles.
MANHOWERS
Now you're talking! What say we get down there for a little looky-loo?
RUSTY
Oh, uh well it's not, uh, ah, finished yet. Maybe next visit.
MANHOWER
((disappointed))
Gotta wonder why you'd put a big logo on a stealth plane.
HELPeR is down below next to the half-painted X-1. He's trying to sneak out of the room.
RUSTY
Um, so we can find it of course.
Rusty laughs nervously.
INT HALLWAY
Rusty
For the coup de grace. The most highly restricted area of the Venture Compound, our Rocket Research Observation Command Center. Or
((Trying to pronounce the acronym)
Rock-ka-ka.)
Rusty slams into a door that doesn't open on time. He falls onto the walkway as the door opens and closes on him.
RUSTY
Just a sec. I just... I... I real...
INT ROCKET RESEARCH OBSERVATION COMMAND CENTER
The door opens fully and Rusty is brought to the end of the walkway. He's followed by the plant.
MANHOWERS
Looks like it's seen better... Say where is everyone?
RUSTY
I gave the staff the day off.
Manhowers runs his finger through a layer of dust on the nearby console.
RUSTY
The week. Jewish holidays.
A bright flash. Manhowers ducks away.
RUSTY
((rubbing his eyes in annoyance))
Not now. Not now. Not now.
EXT VENTURE COMPOUND - PARKING LOT
A villain in a furry costume with an extra set of arms and beak. He stands next to his similarly themed automobile.
Beaked Villain
Venture! Face me Dr. Venture. Face me! If you dare!
Brock is nearby smoking a cigarette while wearing a turban.
BROCK
(walking over to the villain)
I'll take care of this.
Hey! Hey!
MANHOWERS
Eh, this kind of thing happen a lot around here?
Brock confronts the Beaked Villain, who tries to stand tough, but soon runs for his car.
RUSTY
Um, my arch-enemy quit. So lately I get every Tom, Dick, and Skeletor out to make a name for himself knocking on my door.
MANHOWERS
Who's that other fella talking to him?
RUSTY
Oh, he's an, uh, another valued customer of mine. A diplomat.
Brock rips the antennae off the villain's vehicle and chases him down.
MANHOWERS
Hell of a lot of brand loyalty from the big indian.
The villain is trying to avoid Brock by running around the car.
{{dialog | Beaked Villain| Stop it please!
BROCK
C'mere! Come here you little..! C'mere!
Brock rips the door off the car and hurls it in the villain's direction. He then gets in the car and runs the villain down.
RUSTY
Well, Seems everything seems to be under control out here. What say we head back inside and talk business.
MANHOWERS
((walking to his car))
Eh, I think I've seen enough.
RUSTY
Wait, wait that's not all I've got. Look! Zero-gravity pen. It writes in space.
MANHOWERS
You Keep it son. Truth is you've got a lot of impressive stuff here, no two ways about it.
Brock drives by again, picking up the villain's body.
MANHOWERS
((continuing))
A lot of it's the same impressive stuff I saw when your dad was running the show. Only it all still works.
RUSTY
Is that about your shoe? Because if you wait twenty minutes, it'll come back around. I don't know how gum got on the walkway.
MANHOWERS
Yeah, thanks for showing me around Dr. Venture. And for the Frutitopia. Can't remember the last time I had one of those.
Manhowers enters his HumVee and drives off.
RUSTY
((running after the truck))
Speaking of shoes, you haven't seen these yet.
Rusty takes off one of the shoes he's wearing.
RUSTY
((cont'd))
Spy shoes! The soles flip around so the Russians can't follow your footprints.
((dejected))
I... I call them... Sneakies.
Dean approaches in a robot costume.
RUSTY
Oh stop it, it's over.
DEAN
We're not really going to have to sell the compound, are we Pop?
RUSTY
I don't know, Dean. I don't know.
HANK
Why don't you ask uncle JJ for another loan. He's rolling in the dough.
Dr. Venture throws a Sneakie at Hank's head. DR. HENRY KILLINGER floats in.
KILLINGER
Perhaps I can be of assistance. I am Dr. Henry Killinger. And this
((waving his murder bag, then opening it))
is my Resume.
He pulls a resume out of the bag and presents it to Rusty.
RUSTY
Freelance Business Consultant and Executive Motivational Coach. I dunno if I can afford..
KILLINGER
I work pro bono.
RUSTY
Great! When can you start?
Rusty drops the resume on the floor. Killinger picks it up with the point of his umbrella.
KILLINGER
I already have.
INT VENTURE COMPOUND - HALLWAY
They all are on the moving walkway. Killinger and Venture up front, Brock Hank and Dean behind them.
KILLINGER
You cannot hope to reverse your regrettable financial straits without increasing production and work flow.
Dr. Orpheus looks on in the Future Man costume.
KILLINGER
To do this you will need a full time staff. And here they are.
The door to the RROCC opens up and is filled with working employees.
RUSTY
[Expletive] How did they..
KILLINGER
Well, team building is a specialty of mine.
RUSTY
I can't... they don't look Mexican. How am I supposed to pay all these people?
KILLINGER
You won't. The State will. These men are part of a work furlough program. I call them the Venchmen. Do you get it? Venture. Venchmen
RUSTY
No, no, I get it. I'm just imagining what the Super Science Workers Union is going to say when they get a load of the scabs. They've been on strike for like two years.
HANK
The Manufacturing wing. It's on fire.
BROCK
Ah, it looks like we're under attack again. Everybody in the panic room, I'll take care of this.
KILLINGER
Relax my friend. There will be no more attacks. What you see is not fire, but industry breathing new life into the corpse of the Venture Compound.
DEAN
Never seen it do that before.
Hank
Wow, you're some kind of magic man.
Killinger
No, you are the magic man.
Killinger pulls a coin from behind Hank's ear.
Killinger
I suggest you put that into a high yield mutual fund. Now if you'll excuse me, I have much work to do.
Killinger exits the room.
INT VENTURE COMPOUND - Conference Room
Three men are seated at the long conference table. They are talking amongst themselves. Killinger enters the room.
Killinger
Gentlemen. State Representatives of the machine workers, nuclear engineering and custodial super science unions. I've read your list of grievances and am prepared to make you a very generous offer on behalf of Venture Industries.
UNION REP 1
Who the hell are you?
Killinger
(he puts his bag on the table)
Killinger. Dr. Henry Killinger.
And this is my magic murder bag.
Killinger opens the bag and glow begins to emit from it.
EXT VENTURE COMPOUND - NIGHT
The glow intensifies in size and brightness. It can be seen from outside the building.
INT VENTURE COMPOUND CONFERENCE ROOM
Killinger closes the bag.
Killinger
Well gentlemen. we have a deal on the table.
The chairs occupied by the union leaders now only hold piles of smoldering colored dust.
Killinger
What do you say? Any takers?
WIDE SHOT - CONJECTURAL TECHNOLOGIES TRAILER - NIGHT
INT CONJECTURAL TECHNOLOGIES TRAILER
MASTER BILLY QUIZBOY is reading a letter out loud.
BILLY
Notice of Hostile Takeover?! Who? Venture?! What a dick. Wait, we're not even a publicly traded company.
Pete White is on the couch playing a video game.
PETE
Oh, FYI: I issued some shares back when we needed some cash for the Nintendo Wii.
BILLY
((looking at the stock certificates))
What? We're supposed to be partners. Why did...
((excited))
..is this supposed to be me?
Pete
As a griffin, yeah. We're partners, ain't we?
Billy
Why are you a minotaur?
INT. DR. ORPHEUS' OFFICE
ORPHEUS
Eviction?! But I'm not in arrears
Killinger
The company is going back into Arachnid research. Your quarters have been rezoned.
Orpheus
What? Why Mr. Venture will hear of this.
KILLINGER
Doctor Venture has given me power of attorney in all business matters.
Orpheus steps out from behind his desk and approaches Killinger.
Orpheus
Wait, there's something strange about you, doughy mystery man. I sense
((concentrating))
the presence of...
Orpheus concentrates very hard and begins to break out in sweat.
Killinger
Your powers are useless on me, you silly billy.
Blood bursts out of Orpheus' nose and he collapses to the floor.
Killinger
You have until noon tomorrow to vacate the premises. Good day.
